Monday, June 27, 2011 ; 2:27 PM
Am freaking in great agony...
There shouldn't be a start in the 1st place when there's no ending...
and there i was being silly and gullible to jump into the trap....
Makes me wonder was it bcoz u're being hurt beforehand and there all u need was some1 to divert ur sorrows to another direction...and there's why during the initial part when i was reminded tat i'll be hurt before all gets started....
this sentence seems simple where i din think much of it....all i had was to love when the feeling's rite and giving it the best shot till the end...
Whereas things were not as simple as it seems....
plans had been plotted long time ago while i was still in my naive ideas everything looks fine and i dun sense anything amiss till it the last part that was beyond salvage did i realise something was bothering u.....
After 2 yrs of my wasted time and youth did i realised i was not being loved totally or maybe partially and could even be nothing...
Rite from the start it these meaning of e way u describe " Hurt" was this way those feelings of your's sld be controlled and nt let it made known in the 1st plc....Neither was it short or long for these years but it's potion enuf to shattered me....
To sum up, it was such a shameful, disgusting and selfish act......
things were clear and u koe wat u wanted and there i was shelved to one corner like an expired can food to be disposed of...
That's when it hurts me totally deep rite into my heart where i could really sense the heartache giving me sleepless nites and yet the hunger came followed by gastric attack i'm just unable to force food down my throat.....
u're a totally selfish jerk JACKSON SIM!!!!! coz all rite from the start was just you urself and how to make urself feels better.....one simple word u din love me enuf to care how i felt and my feelings!
Why can't i haf a normal r/s?
and when i went to the doc tis noon for my gastric which was bugging me for one week plus, even the doc was super nice and listen to my stories and in the end i was even 3 days of mc for a damn good rest...
In order to slp better, asked for sleeping pills to guide me real gd slp w/o having to think much...
funniest part was the 1st mc din have any diagnosis and where the doc wrote privately on her comments anixiety hahaha....and when the nurse was dispensing medications to me, she mention those sleeping pills were not covered under co.
she looked ard and spoke to me real soft before revealing the diagnosis of the doc and i guess she thout i was mentally not rite....she thout it was p & c nt to reveal the real diagnosis....
i thout for tat instant yups true i was not metally rite nw.........
am sure at the other side tat some1 had let down a sense of relieve enjoying life to the fullest...good to u then coz what comes ard goes ard like a cycle...i believe there's karma
why am i nth and so insignificant to others in e end?
Drops of kisses & love
